Gentlemen, I in no way advocate FORCING a relationship with someone who doesn’t deserve you, but before you leave ANY relationship, you should ask yourself this one simple question: In my quest to find someone better than the person I’m with, am I really sure that better is OUT there?
The 80/20 Rule: When you decide to leave your partner who “only” has 80% of the qualities you want [in search of that “Perfect” person who has 100% of them] only to end up finding people who ONLY have that 20% [and none of the 80% you gave up]. Every-damn-day there is some dude who is leaving a woman who cooks, cleans, fulfils his freaky fantasies and supports his dreams BUT she doesn’t look like Victoria Kimani so she is ultimately expendable. These people are IDIOTS.
I understand that some people think making a list of the qualities you want in a woman is a SMART thing to do because it helps give you focus and perspective but to these people, you should understand one thing: The reality of life and LOVE is that you WON’T get EVERYTHING you desire in another human being. The biggest LIE we are ever told from the day we are kids old enough to read and understand is that couples live “Happily Ever After.” But no one explains to us what that really means, so we take it to mean that they live a life without arguments, disagreements, fights and power struggles. That is NOT REAL LIFE. Real relationships have A LOT of arguments, disagreements, fights and power struggles, but that does not make them BAD relationships, it just makes them human. A great relationship isn’t one without conflict, it is one where the couple can continually overcome the many conflicts that arise.
So when we look at our significant other, we CAN’T just look at them as a grocery list, where we check-mark and cross things off the list and worry about what we cant cross off; We need to look at the person for the TOTALITY of that one individual and ask ourselves one simple question: Does this person provide me with enough happiness to overcome their shortcomings?
As human beings we are great at knowing what we WANT, but not always so clear on what we NEED. Maybe we should take a moment to STOP analyzing if someone fits the WANTS we have, and look to see if their faults are what we can stand. And If you really want to be different, take a look at your OWN damn faults – and ask if YOU even DESERVE this 80% person you’re dating.
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