Letter to the Man Who is Over-admiring His Girlfriend’s Girlfriend.


My dear Jack, marriage is a very potent force. I’m not sure people realise how potent it is. A bad marriage can send you to an asylum on Mars and back. It can wreck your health, even cause death. I’m not trying to scare you, just telling it as it is, like I always do. I owe you the truth in good conscience. I’ve sat down to ask myself why marriage is so potent – spent time cogitating with myself within myself wanting to know why. My intellection led me to a revelatory statement made by Solomon. It’s such a simple but powerful statement: “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Eugene Peterson translated that text as, “Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that’s where life starts.”

The heart is the seat of emotions, passions, motivations and affections – it’s the core of your being. The course of our lives is set by our heart. Our affections, passions and motivations determine the outcome of our lives. Whoever you marry is going to impact the course of your destiny, whether you like it or not. You MUST guard your heart against emotional abuse. You must protect your heart from poison. Emotion is life’s liquefied natural gas, its energy system. Emotion is wholly convertible. When converted into kinetic energy we make progress in life. When emotion is converted into elastic energy we acquire capacity to endure. When emotion is converted into chemical energy we burn with heat and passion. When emotion is converted into radiant energy we can access high capacity knowledge. And when emotion is converted into aura it creates a gravitational force field. Attractiveness is based on this.

We power our feelings with emotion. It’s why anger can suddenly be blazingly hot. And then die down. Emotion is fuel. Even our decisions are powered by emotion. We take emotional decisions. Only we rationalize them. It’s why economics gets confused about human behaviour. Humans are not rational. They just justify emotion. The woman who shells a month’s salary on a designer handbag rationalizes it by saying it will last longer, that it’s quality. Until the next season comes and she buys another long lasting bag. And then another. Surely her feelings aren’t long lasting! Same with men. We buy expensive cars with the excuse quality lasts longer. Until a new model comes out. Our affections instigate us to sin, but we come up with a rationalization and justification. We always seek to justify sin. And that leads us into a very important area. Let’s examine sex and emotion.

You see, sex for a woman is not just a physical activity. It’s a very, very deep emotional experience. It’s why a breakup can be so devastating. It’s also why rape is so traumatic. It’s a violation of sacredness. For men however, sex is nothing more than an engineering activity – a drilling and pneumatic pressure project. The reason this is so is because men’s emotional capacity is shallower than that of women. If you imagine emotion as a swimming pool, men are the shallow end of the pool, women are the deep end. But here’s the real difference: women possess the ability to generate emotional energy on an industrial scale. And that’s a conceptual reality straight outta Genesis. A woman has the capacity to fill any volumetric space with her emotions. If she’s moody she’ll fill a whole house with her mood. Ditto if she’s happy. Ask any married man! Wise men seek to make their wives happy. It’s air conditioning! God help you if you marry a woman who uses moodiness for political control of marriage. The house will be full of dark energy. You’ll feel a weight, a gloominess in that home. The atmosphere will be caliginous.

Now you understand why Solomon says it’s better to live in the attic than to share a home with a quarrelsome woman. And you understand why men keep working unpaid overtime in the office when the home is not settled. There’s an emotional spectrum men can’t handle. They find nagging, accusation and temperament psychologically disturbing. There’s something about temperament in particular that wipes away the record of a woman’s virtues from a man’s psyche. Sometimes people are fasting and praying when all they need to do to attract a life partner is behaviour modification. A man is advised to run from an acutely moody woman. The otherwise is an invitation to depression.

My dear Jack, don’t play with a woman’s emotion. Don’t toy with it. You’re playing with fire. Emotion is highly combustible. When a woman is angry and she no longer cares, she’ll burn down the house on her head and on your head. And listen to your woman when she warns you about another woman. She knows what she’s talking about. Men can be gullible! A woman can smell danger from a fellow woman twenty miles off. But men always believe they can handle it. But while the man is at Mile One the temptress is waiting patiently at Mile Two. It takes a certain calibre to resist the aggressive relentlessness of a woman in the mode of the famed Mrs Potiphar. A Mrs Potiphar’s talents include the wearing down of objections and the grinding down of morality. She has native libidinous dexterous skills. The possibilities fuel imagination.

Mrs Potiphar is an extremely focused and determined woman. She never takes no for an answer. And she’s extremely good at embellishment, as well as creative script development. She’s infinitely manipulative. Those who spurn her advances tend to end up in uncomfortable situations. Ask Joseph. And Mrs Potiphar always shows up in the lives of promising young men. The promise is the attraction. So your girlfriend is right to warn you about her girlfriend though it seems unreasonable. She’s acting on her intuition. Be careful about an over-admiring girlfriend’s girlfriend.



This is a compilation of a series of tweets by @jacknjillive.


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